Racoons, Poison Ivy and the Fourth

My Fourth of July weekend was probably the most eventful one I've ever had and I didn't even get to see any fireworks (other than on television).

My Fourth of July weekend actually started a week and a half ago when I spent the night stalking a racoon that has been eating my father-in-law's chickens. I had the little varmant in my sights but I couldn't make a positive ID and didn't want to shoot one of their cats by mistake. I didn't take the shot and I've been kicking myself ever since. I went home and showered immediately, and even so I still came away with about four spots of poison ivy. No big deal really, just a minor annoyance.

Flash forward a week. I decided to go back for a second round of stalking the racoon. I spent a few fruitless hours in the dark waiting for him to show up, but this time I wisely didn't go into the tall grass or brush so there was no way I could have come in contact with more poison ivy. Or so I thought...

My wife picks strange things to be a conservationist about, and washing clothes is one of them. She practically refuses to wash clothing that I have worn for less than a full day, and often less than two full days. If there isn't any visible dirt and there are no offending odors, it goes right back into circulation. That way the clothes wear out more slowly, we don't spend as much soap and water on them, and she has to spend less time doing laundry. And if I'm doing something dirty like working on my cars or stalking racoons, it doesn't matter how dirty they are.

At the time, I was blissfully unaware of the true nature of the poision ivy plant. You see the poison in a poison ivy plant is not the needles themselves, rather an oil that the plant produces and distributes via its needles. This oil stays potent for a very very long time. Wash it off with a good soap before it has a chance to be fully absorbed by your skin, and you may never even feel its effects. But put on a pair of pants that have had the oil on them for the better part of a week getting worked in and through and well....you can probably guess where this is going.

I waited until the next morning to shower and by then it was too late. A day later I had poison ivy in places that I will not mention because the fact that I will not mention them tells you exactly where they are.

It was so bad that I have been unable to wear proper clothes for days, I have not had a good night's sleep in four days and I missed out on seeing fireworks because I would have had to wear said clothes and would not be able to apply calomine lotion in a timely fashion.

I suppose the racoon has won this round, but the war is far from over...